I Am the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from Kindergarten Cop: An Interview.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is rightfully celebrated as an Hollywood heavyweight. But, at the height of his cinematic dominance in the eighties and nineties, he also starred in several critically acclaimed comedies. Chief among them is Kindergarten Cop, which celebrates its three-and-a-half decade milestone this December.

The Story and An Iconic Moment

In the hit comedy, Schwarzenegger plays a undercover cop who goes undercover as a elementary educator to locate a fugitive. For much of the story, the crime storyline serves as a simple backdrop for Arnold to have charming scenes with children. The most unforgettable features a little boy named Joseph, who spontaneously announces and declares the stoic star, “Males have a penis, females have a vagina.” Schwarzenegger replies icily, “Thank you for that information.”

The boy behind the line was portrayed by youth performer Miko Hughes. In addition to this part encompassed a character arc on Full House as the bully to the child stars and the haunting part of the youngster who comes back in the 1989 adaptation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. Hughes remains active today, with several projects on the horizon. He also frequently attends popular culture events. Recently shared his recollections from the filming of the classic over three decades on.

Memories from the Set

Interviewer: First, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: I think I was four. I was the smallest of all the kids on set.

That's impressive, I have no memory from being four. Do you remember anything from that time?

Yeah, a little bit. They're snapshots. They're like visual recollections.

Do you recall how you got the part in Kindergarten Cop?

My mother, mainly would bring me to auditions. Sometimes it was a mass tryout. There'd be a room full of young actors and we'd all just have to wait, be seen, be in there briefly, read a small part they wanted and that's all. My parents would coach me on the dialogue and then, once I learned to read, that was the initial content I was reading.

Do you have any recollection of meeting Arnold? What was your take on him?

He was incredibly nice. He was enjoyable. He was pleasant, which I guess makes sense. It'd be weird if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom, that likely wouldn't create a positive atmosphere. He was great to work with.

“It would have been odd if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom.”

I was aware he was a big action star because I was told, but I had not actually watched his movies. I sensed the excitement — like, that's cool — but he didn't frighten me. He was simply playful and I just wanted to play with him when he wasn't busy. He was occupied, of course, but he'd sometimes engage here and there, and we would cling to his muscles. He'd flex and we'd be holding on. He was really, really generous. He purchased for each child in the classroom a Sony Walkman, which at the time was like an iPhone. It was the coolest device, that distinctive classic yellow cassette player. I played the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for years on that thing on that thing. It finally gave out. I also received a genuine metal whistle. He had the referee's whistle, and the kids all received one too as well.

Do you remember your experience as being fun?

You know, it's interesting, that movie is such a landmark. It was a major production, and it was such an amazing experience, and you would think, in retrospect, I would want my memories to be of the star himself, the direction of Ivan Reitman, visiting Astoria, being on a professional set, but my memories are of being a really picky eater at lunch. For instance, they got everyone pizza, but I avoided pizza. All I would eat was the meat from the top. Then, the first-generation Game Boy was new. That was the coolest toy, and I was proficient. I was the youngest and some of the bigger kids would hand me their devices to get past hard parts on games because I could do it, and I was quite pleased with myself. So, it's all youthful anecdotes.

The Infamous Moment

OK, that specific dialogue, do you remember the context? Did you understand the words?

At the time, I probably didn't know what the word shocking meant, but I realized it got a reaction and it got a big laugh. I knew it was kind of something I shouldn't normally say, but I was given an exception in this case because it was funny.

“It was a difficult decision for her.”

How it came about, based on what I was told, was they hadn't finalized all the dialogue. A few scenes were established early on, but once they had the whole cast on the set, it wasn't necessarily improv, but they refined it on set and, reportedly the filmmakers came to my mom and said, "We have an idea. We want Miko to have this line. Are you okay with this?" My mom paused. She said, "I need to consider this, I'll decide tomorrow" and took some time. She really wrestled with it. She said she was hesitant, but she believed it would likely become one of the unforgettable moments from the movie and her instinct was correct.